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Crosses
I got the little Viking and Piglet tiny metal crosses as they keep noting my simple steel one.
The little Viking’s is silver and pretty plain and simple on a silver chain.
Piglet’s is a little fancier gold-plated chain and gold plated little cross.
As it turn out the little Viking doesn’t like the feel of something around his neck so he leaves it off, though he is very conscious of it and its symbolic importance. Today he saw it next on the bedside table and asked about it, wondering if I got him a silver one so it looks similar to mine. I replied that was indeed the case.
Piglet (3) who was standing up on the bed near me, says:
“He’s got a silver one and I have a gold one…”
Then she flings her arms up to the sky, her fuzzy curly haired head also looking up at the sky like some miniature pagan and shouts:
“I love gold!”
In case there was any doubt, she’s obviously from Viking raiders stock too.
Set up by a 5 year old
He wanted watermelon, so we all have some and he, being of noble blood, of course, doesn’t eat the seeds. Which then results in one of his sisters not eating the seeds too. Essentially because she is the drama queen and has to make a spectacle of any/all things as how they relate to her.
So a conversation follows about watermelon seeds and how most people eat them, parrots eat them, and they are generally thought to be just fine. At any rate the conversation moves on and the little Viking is just quietly plucking each seed out and eating his watermelon chunks.
A few minutes later, with the natural innocence of children, he points at the seeds in his plate and says:
“Daddy, we could plant these seeds and grow our own watermelons.”
Pleased with his thought process and farming instincts, I reply:
“That’s right son, we could. That’s good thinking.”
He instantly replies:
“So stop eating the seeds!”
And I see in his eyes… the completely intentional set-up.
After the laughter died down, he added, this time with a professorial half-eyes closed and supercilious serious look on his face, instead of the intense gotcha-face he had on the previous sentence:
“Besides, if we grow our own watermelons, we don’t have to buy them anymore.”
His sense of humour is certainly more along the intellectual side than that of his sisters.
How Love works
So we went to the beach for the second time and as the sea was a bit rough I had piglet (3) and the little Viking (5) with me, one on each knee as I crouched in the waves and as they broke on us jumped up just enough to “survive” the “tsunamis”.
You forget how much fun you had as a little kid doing stuff like that after half a century of life on this planet, but they reminded me of it and I got into it as much as they were. After a few minutes the boy wanted to do his own thing for a bit with bucket and spade (he likes to build doomed castles right by the waters edge —a sign of his interest in ancient ruins I assume), but piglet would have stayed with me in the water for as long as I could take it.
So me and her continued to play in the waves until one splash must have happened just as she was breathing in or something and next thing I know, as I rise out of the wave, I get caught by a slightly smaller one but with a lot more force.
She projectile vomited right into my face, neck, shoulder and chest. I could actually feel the chunks of sandwich, from lunch, egg bits from breakfast and possibly last night’s pasta splattering on me. As I stood to make sure she would not get caught by the next wave as she was busy clearing her stomach all over me.
All pretty natural reaction to swallowing some sea water, but as she rook her first breath, spit and snot streaming from her pretty little, curly-haired face, I asked her if she was alright and she nodded enthusiastically, even if she couldn’t speak yet, as the second wave of vomit soon ejected directly onto my face and head too.
I waited patiently, while she finished hurling on me and asked her again if she was okay.
Enthusiastic head nod.
Okay, I said and wiped her nose and mouth, and she spat out a bit then when she could speak I asked her a third time.
Her reply: “Yes daddy, I’m fine!”
So I took a moment to sink myself under the waves and wipe off the puke. The radius of floating chunks around us was about a metre. She always has been an impressive eater, hence the nickname she is very proud of: piglet.
As soon as I was cleaned off we moved a bit to a spot that didn’t look like we released a water smoke bomb for aerial rescue, and carried on.
What I observed a little while after, is that precisely while she was projectile vomiting directly into my face, two things happened.
The first is that my reaction/fighting reflexes kicked in, I kept eyes narrowed enough not to be blinded by the fire hydrant stomach contents, and moved my eyes just out of the direct path, but I kept watching her and my brain just did its observer thing it does when I get into that Zen/fighting mode. It’s kind of just like an autistic, purely objective, very calm, emotionless noticing.
* Ok she’s puking
* Head way above water (as I rise/stand)
* No incoming waves
* She’s secure, just let her finish and see how she is doing, all good
And the second thing that was going on was a relatively mild but hyper-focused concern on her well-being. Even at the instinctive level of the first half second while my brain registered what was happening, there was zero sense of disgust. It was just completely absent, didn’t even feature. Which I found interesting.
On discussing it later with my wife, she said (she had to deal with multiple pukes and worse in bed with pretty much all of them at some point. I generally only once or twice):
“Oh yes, nothing quite as fun as dealing with a bunch of puke in your bed at 3am.”
I agreed with her she obviously had the better experience of it, compared to my mere rinse off in the ocean.
With a wistful, almost melancholic look in her eyes, she said:
“Oh yes… if only all my vomits had happened in the ocean…”
Next time I may suggest she plays in the waves with them too. I’m not sure I should deprive her of experiencing this small joy while they are still small.

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To Cancel a Predator
Although he is a relatively minor freak, when compared to the likes of the Clintons, the Podestas, Jay Z and the entire Hollywood crowd, creepy Neil Gaiman is definitely one of them and if you wish to help break the wall of silence around him, go join and add to the recently started reddit: r/neilgaimanmemes
After all, spreading the truth about a sexual predator, you know, even if he is part of the protected Jewish class, and still glorified, is the least we can do.
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By G | 1 August 2024 | Posted in Social Commentary