Having conversations with the Ice Spartan, and his still evolving theology, alongside his concerns about marriage and women in general, I came upon a realisation that is something you will only begin to see properly only if you have lived long enough on Earth and had enough experience with women of different types and then, at some point, became properly Catholic.
You can’t see this fully or correctly if you are a Protestant (you can come close to it as an Eastern Orthodox but not as close as a Sede Catholic) and not at all if you are an atheist, agnostic or generic Zen type as I was for most of my life, but here it is:
Men have the capacity to be loyal to principles, other men, ideals, family and their loved ones, as well as God to a far higher degree than women. That is right up to death. Women generally don’t and generally never will.
I don’t care for outliers and exceptions of saint this or that. This is a statistically valid reality.
By and large women are only truly loyal to their own emotions and feelings, regardless of how well or badly they march with reality.
This is not really their (entire) fault, because biologically they are wired to be that solipsistic. In the TMOS series on the OG blog I explained why in some depth in part 4 on marriage . And part 6 was on women specifically, but to get the big picture you really need to read the whole TMOS series from the start (scroll down).
Of course women too have free will, so their excuses for their often absurdly selfish actions should not be given a free pass because of this, but it is not wrong to consider them somewhat impaired in terms of making rational choices. Logic, long terms plans that benefit the most people and so on is the purview of men for the most part. As I say, the reasons are mostly biological, so read the TMOS series or Caveman Theory if you want more details on that.
The point here is that the REASON this is a verifiable fact that has been demonstrated throughout human history, is because in general, men have the capacity to sacrifice themselves for something bigger than themselves. This is why for example even though Clown World tells us women are better with children, the fact is that children raised by single parents that are men invariably outperform children raised by single parents that are women in every metric one cares to look at, from academic performance, to criminality, violence, drug use etc etc.
Because men are capable of dedicating themselves to things bigger or more important than themselves (objectively from a specific point of view) they are more able to be more effective at creating good things for society as a whole as well as people around them even if they are not particularly religious. Not so with women. A woman’s true belief in God —and that means the loving Christian God, and even more specifically, the nuanced and humane and humorous Catholic God— is about the only thing she will generally consider as “bigger” or more important than her own emotions.
Women in the Aether are screaming at me right now that they love their children or even husbands (more rare), or have deep love because they are so empathetic to the plights of thousands of military age male refugees from African or Arab lands.
But the truth is they more often than not are in love with their own IDEA of that child or whatever, than the actual child.
I speak from experience as my own mother has always been such a person. Most people (being idiots) assume the woman is a kind and selfless person, the truth is that she only ever does what she wants because of how it make HER feel. The feelings if others were a mask or an excuse or even totally ignored. After my parents divorced, the few men that my mother chose to be with became her pilot star. If she had got with a circus performer she would have elevated being a clown to the pinnacle of human achievement, and if she had been with a banker she would no doubt have extolled the sanctity of usury. The only trait that was ever truly hers was the capacity to just do whatever her emotions told her to.
And most women are indeed like that.
Except when they actually truly believe in a loving God that has specific rules. Then they will tend to follow those rules. And of course if the God is one of a broken or flawed or nonsensical religion, well, then their actions will be just as broken. This is why women are more susceptible to joining cults. The two things that can sway their emotions the most are men (but usually only temporarily) or God.
And because of the two only God is always “unreachable” (and perfect) in full, it is the one they might be most likely to be loyal to.
So, in the search for a wife, if one takes the following things into account:
- Non vaxxed
- Not a huge body count
- No drugs or alcohol
- Has at least a basic physical attraction to you and you to them
You’re already on thin ice in terms of viable numbers of eligible women. Add in
- Truly religious
And the number shrinks drammatically
Add in
- Properly Catholic
And you may be looking at double digit numbers in your entire country.
And while Sede marriages happen, they are probably not the norm and most people reading this are not sede Catholics anyway. Even so, the point stands.
But allowing for some latitude then, what is a young man to do? Ideally he is to gently lead a woman towards the truth of God.
And in such a way that she can find it in her own way too. Not prescribed so much as shown. And so that she can see it for herself.
And if and when she does, and it is tested, then and only then, marry.
And I suggest, marry in church only. A sede church marriage is not recognised by the state, but it is by God. And that is how it should be, because among faithful, there is no need of lawyers and courts and so on. If you are a true believer you will not rob or cheat your neighbour, never mind your wife or husband.
Are these unions rare? Absolutely. But are they possible? Also yes.
Hard to come by? Perhaps. Prayer does seem to help if not done in desperation.
But in any case, this is the harsh reality, and it is always best to see it as it is.
Good luck and may God guide you.
This post was originally published on my Substack. Link here
