This guy gets almost everything precisely ass-backward .
If you pretty much do the opposite of what he advises you might actually land a half-decent woman.
Plus some of his points are borderline delusional.
But lets’s break it down a bit shall we?
I’ve written that:
- People should be less picky, and be far more open when considering potential partners.
This is completely wrong. Unless you mean those complete idiots who think that just because they have a vagina they deserve a 6’2” millionaire hung like a horse that loves their chubby feminist ass just how it is. Or the delusional gammas that pretend to “not settle” for anything less than a 10 movie star/supermodel to hide the fact a 4 with syphilis would reject them.
Being less picky, in the realm approaching something like normality means ending up in bed with people you’d find it difficult having a conversation with over coffee. And that’s unlikely to lead to a good relationship.
But even if you dig deeper and go to his article on that point, he clearly has no clue what he’s talking about:
However, where men screw up, whether the true 9/10 ballers, or the 7/8s, is that when they do meet a girl they find genuinely attractive, and she’s fun and interesting and truly into them, they fuck it up by not locking her down.
Part of this is FOMO: our human nature to wonder if there’s an even better looking, more compatible woman out there. But relationships are built over time. We become more valuable to our partners as we live together, love each other, share experiences, face challenges, etc. In other words, if he sticks with it, the bond he will develop with her will far surpass any new relationship that has to start at the beginning.
What he is advising here is that people override their inborn programming/instincts out of just sheer, good old-fashioned common sense. He may as well be a boomer talking about uphill in the snow both ways and bootstraps. He’s making such pronouncements and I’d bet he hasn’t even got a clue what imago theory is, much less done any work himself on how to over-ride it, yet he’s casually telling other people to basically ignore it in favour of the cold logic one might theoretically apply to a relationship.
This approach is, to put it mildly, absurd. No one is going to do that. No one is even going to be able to do that. Before you can even think of doing that, you must have reached a level of self-knowledge most human beings are not even aware it’s possible to reach, never mind actually do it. Now, not to try and sell you some shit, but if you actually care about how to go about improving your chances at getting into a functional long term relationship, I did write Caveman Theory precisely for that reason, and you can get it here .
But that’s not even the point. As I say, buy my stuff or not, the point is that what he’s talking about is just wrong.
- We shouldn’t shame mutually consensual relationships (age-gaps) or slut shame women who happen to like men (like calling them “pick-me” girls).
I’m not in the habit of minding other people’s business, or of gossiping about it, but I will most certainly have an opinion and a judgement about it all. Newsflash: so does everyone else. If you live your life concerned about the opinions of others then you’re going to have a miserable life. Most people don’t know or care that you exist. Literally. But none of them are going to stop doing it, and neither are you.
- Women should take personal responsibilityfor their success or lack thereof when it comes to dating and relationships.
This will happen immediately after a cross-breed of unicorns and pegasi will bring us the winged stallions we all deserve.
- Men are responsible for becoming more attractive if they want to be more successful with women.
This is partly true, but a ton of cash also works. Oh and buddy… but especially women, listen up……… NO ONE LIKES YOU JUST AS YOU ARE.
Everyone likes someone else FOR A REASON.
Now you might argue that you will feel more manly if that reason is a horse sized dick and the balls to swing it metaphorically too, than if it were ten million in the bank. But ask the average person —including you most likely— what they would choose, and most will take the ten million dollars. But if you DO have the former, you know you wouldn’t trade that for any amount of money.
- Dating apps cause a huge number of problems for both men and women, and most of us would be better off not using them (podcast to come on this soon).
Good luck putting that genie back in the bottle. Short of nuclear war or a solar flare that fries every electronic component on Earth for good. Times change. Which is not to say you necessarily change with it, but you need at the very least to understand the issue you are trying to fight based on noting that without doing so, you will likely not be able to improve the situation.
- People should learn to meet each other IRL.
This last one is true and there are a few more bits of data and aphorisms that make sense he put in after this, but the point is that if your premises are all screwed up to begin with, you’re not going to get anywhere viable to begin with.
The point is that all the above “advice” is roughly about the same level of “useful” as a guy telling the average woman that just because it’s 3 am and she sees a group of guys with loud, drunk-ish sounding voices and dressed like members of a local MS13 chapter, doesn’t mean they necessarily are bad people and crossing the road or better yet hightailing it out of their vicinity is just prejudiced and rude behaviour.
The reality is quite the opposite.
And with respect to finding a husband or wife, the process is really quite similar and relatively simple to apply if not easy to do:
- Above all, know yourself.
- Be capable of doing logic.
- Act accordingly.
The above of course is something that in the vast majority of cases only some men will be able to do and very few women.
Mostly because women haven’t got almost any idea or even clue as to why or how they are attracted to a man.
If you DO know about things like Imago theory then you will have a basic appreciation of the fact that overriding your baseline programming is something that takes a lot of time, effort, and usually either a really concentrated effort for a couple of decades and/or a life event so significant emotionally that it over-writes or at least scrambles some of your baseline “code”. And when that happens due to a life event, it can be good (road to Damascus type event) or bad (traumatic event that cripples you emotionally even worse than before).
Women are intrinsically more emotional, and if you have read my post on the dual brain theory I came up with (search this blog or use the search me link at the OG blog that mirrors this one to find it, use the key words “duel brain”) you will also know that the female brain being in essence far more right-brained than male brains, is going to be practically immune to cold logic (an issue that is already the case for most humans today anyway, regardless of sex).
Few women really know themselves deeply. Those that do are still almost entirely incapable of actually verbalising even to themselves the why, how and when of what they feel and how they act and why they act as they do. They may say it is this or that reason/s but the reality is that in the vast majority of cases they are only verbalising a backwards rationalisation of their behaviour, not actually describing a set of principles or operational parameters.
A perfect example of this is a woman I know and have been friends with for years who some two decades ago or so could be said to have rationalised her distaste for men of African descent rather strongly. From the perspective of modern sensibilities she could be said to have definitely been “racist” (if you read here regularly you’ll know I find the term almost entirely meaningless). Yet, I was one of the first people she told that on something as simple as having missed a flight or it being delayed, I forget which, she had started to talk to this black guy that was on the same flight and… long story short, she ended up in his bed for a one night stand she had never before that day imagined would ever even be possible.
Now, if her “reasons” for not being attracted to black men had been genuinely based on principles of deep self-knowledge, she would have been able to predict that either such a thing could never happen, (her original position) or that it could only happen under very specific circumstances. But the reality was quite different (she also went on to have at least a couple other relationships with black men, so her perspective definitely shifted). But the fact is that her “reasons” such as they were, had nothing to do with deep self-knowledge, and were in fact merely tied to an emotion. One that could relatively easily be side-stepped evidently.
And that is the case with both most humans, and even more so with most women.
So… far better advice for you if you want to find a life-long relationship:
Start by REALLY knowing who YOU are.
Then (or at the same time) learn to face reality as it is, not as you emotionally wish it were, or delude yourself it is.
If you do that, the rest will naturally follow and you will have far fewer regrets in life.
This post was originally published on my Substack. Link here