She had not seen Dexter New Blood yet, (some spoilers below) so we watched that series together over the last few weeks. And towards the end of it, as we sometimes do, we discuss aspects of a show. In this case the policewoman Angela’s reaction to finding out Dexter is a conscientious serial killer. I, being the usual romantic, thought she was just being an overly dramatic bitch.
The wife was trying to be balanced about it saying that based on what she knew, at the time, her reaction could be somewhat excused. Cue the following conversation:
Me: I mean… say you found out I was a serial killer like Dexter. How would you react?
Wife: Hmmm well… I mean Dexter only kills really filthy scum types like child-killers and pedophiles and evil serial killers and so on…
Me: Yeah, that’s the whole point, he’s a good guy…
Wife: Well… with you, I’d worry you might have killed people because their dog shat in a park and they didn’t clean it up…
Me: (thinking – You politely tell one guy a thing… ) Oh come on! I said like Dexter, you know, only bad guys…
Wife: At first I’d probably just be like… I don’t want to know! Don’t tell me anything! But then… curiosity would get the better of me and I’d start asking questions…
Me: Which you would not want to know the answer to, so if I did answer them, then you’d be all upset, and if I didn’t you’d be upset and wondering what I’m hiding… so a lose-lose situation…
Wife: hmmm… see, that’s why it’s best I don’t know about it.
Me: (nods)
A minute passes… I know it’s coming…
Wife: So… how many did you kill?
Me: (in sing song voice) Noooone of course my dear!
Yeah. She is a good one. Third wife is definitely the One.
Relationship Goals… Get one that knows where industrial sized plastic sheeting is sold.
This post was originally published on my Substack. Link here
