So, the angelic looking three year old with blue eyes and blonde curls has been essentially
harassing to death
, lovingly following the Ice Spartan around, and he has been telling us some her little comments and things she has done.
Keep in mind there is about 100 metres or so of distance between our house and the chalet he is in, with basically clean forest between them.
On a weekend, at about 23:00 we realise, the little creature is not in the house. Turns out she went to the Ice Spartan’s chalet barefoot, in winter, dressed in basically a little party costume that is made of gossamer and layer of chiffon. Things she told him:
Note: [Ice Spartan Name – we’ll call him Jack, even though that’s not his name at all]
Jack’s in his chalet, peeling an orange he’s about to eat.
AG: Jack, let me show you how I steal food from people.
J: Uh…ok…
AG: See, I see you peeling an orange and I say, (sing-song voice) Jack, can I please have a piece? (end of sing-song voice) And then you say, sure… So I eat your food.
Another day, still in total darkness, but this time she at least has a little torch, she decided she wanted to go call Jack so he would come over for dinner. So off she went to get him with her little torch. On the way back to the house.
AG: Jack, stay behind me, there might be wolves.
J: Uh… ok…
AG: And you don’t even have your knife. Next time you should bring your knife.
J: Clearly chastised at his lack of pre-emptive arming against vicious wolves.
Kitchen just before dinner, Wife, Jack and me present.
Me: Where’s AG?
Wife: Oh, so, she had put her white baptism dress on, because she decided she’s going to marry Jack. So I told her to go change.
Jack: Shakes his head in silence.
Me: Oh I don’t know about that Jack. I mean, I think… age wise you know… you’re just not old enough for her.
She also regularly does little ballet type poses for him and asks him: “Can you do this?”
She did the splits, intentionally at age 1 when she was already walking and talking, and of course, we remarked on it, so she sometimes just spontaneously does it now. And of course demonstrates to Jack how to go about it.
He is a very patient man.
Very.
But I think she’s rubbing off on him. The other day, while holding the new heavy chainsaw he was using to very kindly make piles of wood for next winter , he climbed on the log and he says he slipped , but I think he was just trying to do an impromptu split, mid-air, in the forest.
He hadn’t said anything, but the wife saw him limping and asked what happened and that’s when he told her about the “accident”.
I of course, full of concern, immediately asked: “Is the chain-saw fine?” 1
Well, what can I say, she’s daddy’s girl, clearly.
Earlier in the year, when I was discussing life with the Ice Spartan, while we were burning cuttings, I told him I do worry about some of my kids for the future. He pointed out Aryan Girl meaningfully, to which I laughed.
“Nah, she is the one I am least worried about at all.”
He looked at me incredulously. “Really.”
Me: “Yeah, I mean compared to one of the others… I mean the Young Viking. He’s tough, but kind of innocent really, and his sense of justice is not really open to compromise. 2 Plus I think if he ever loses his shit and punches someone in anger full force, there’s a good chance he might end up in jail for manslaughter.”
IS: Looks and points meaningfully at AG that was busy throwing various bits of wood into the fire with pyromaniacal glee.
Me: ( laughing, again ) Nah, you see with her it won’t be an accident.
IS: Exactly!
Me: Nah, she’ll be fine. She’s too smart to get caught.
IS: ( Reconsidering ) I dunno, there’s lots more cameras in the world today…
Me: She’s smart. She’ll find a way to blame fake AI videos.
IS: Still… I mean…
Me: yeah, yeah, I know. But hey, think of it like this, she might be like Dexter, you know, only evil guys.
IS: ( looks dubiously at her ).
Me: You know… mostly. Or people that upset her. Or hurt one of her siblings. ( Thinking… or maybe because it’s Tuesday, but eh… I’m sure she’d have a good reason… )
She just has that way about her. And it’s not like she doesn’t get punished by me when she deserves it. But… to her credit, she does also have that side of me that can let go of a bad moment, and five minutes later she’ll come ask to sit on my lap and mess with the calculator on my desk while I write.
No one seemed to appreciate the reference: Start 1:35 in.
Eh. What can I say, my DNA is strong.
This post was originally published on my Substack. Link here
